Started at the Bottom and *sigh* We Still Here…(America)
Jun 22, 2015 3:08:33 GMT -6
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Post by Detroit on Jun 22, 2015 3:08:33 GMT -6
Started at the Bottom and *sigh* We Still Here…
Bayi Rockets, Milan Olympia, Athens Panathinaikos, Beijing Aoshen, Madrid REAL, Belgrade KK Partizan, Brazil Franca BC, Indiana Pacers, Boston Celtics, Toronto Raptors, Detroit Pistons, Buenos Aires Boca Juniors BC, and Philadelphia Sixers.
What do all these teams have in common? They are all outside the playoff picture looking in. They are also all teams who are in play for the number one overall pick in the upcoming 2028 ABCA Draft. The three worst teams in the league – Cairo Zamalek, Tel Aviv Maccabi, and Chicago Bulls – sporting a combined 46-172 record have lost too many games to be considered for a top three pick. (Rule IV.XI: Anti-Tanking Policy)
With the coveted draft featuring possibly the deepest and most talented class of all-time, we’ll take a look at how teams will try to finish out the season in terms of either vying for the last spot or improving their odds of a top pick.
American Conference
Brazil Franca BC (39-34)
Franca BC finds itself in purgatory: too good to lose many games but not good enough to be a playoff team (as of today). A half game out of the 8th seed in the American conference (Harlem Globetrotters are 40-34), Franca BC would be best served trying to win games. Barring a complete catastrophe from teams like Indiana and Boston reeling off massive win streaks, the reward for losing many games would not be worthwhile. Unfortunately, they have to face the proverbial Murderer’s Row:
• Indiana (the 10th seed who is also on the borderline being just a full game out of the playoff picture at 38-34)
• Istanbul (the 8th seed in Eurasia looking to move up to the 7th seed)
• Mexico City (46-26)
• Los Angeles (47-26)
• Sydney (54-18)
• Harlem (the aforementioned 8th seed)
• Seattle (49-24)
• San Antonio (56-17)
• Istanbul (again)
In other words, they are likely to miss out on the playoffs considering Harlem has to face just three .500+ teams (Lithuania, New York, and Tehran) besides Brazil. Purgatory. Purgatory. Purgatory.
Indiana Pacers (38-34)
Indiana has been lowering their draft picks value by going from five games under .500 to four games over .500 over the past two months. In making a couple trades – one that sent future Hall of Famer Kevin McHale to Washington – they’ve managed to actually improve their team. GMs were left scratching their head at the what package the deal netted, but no one could have seen the teams improvement coming. Regardless, don’t expect Indiana to give up fighting at the end of the season, secpailly being just one game out.
Boston Celtics (35-38)
Boston is probably not going to make the playoffs. Being 4.5 games out of the playoff picture with just nine games remaining on the schedule, it would take monumental collapses from both Harlem and Brazil for them to make it in. Thus, the question becomes how to make do with what they have. With five games being against powerhouses (New York, Los Angeles, Washington, Seattle, and San Francisco) and another against the conference 8th seed clawing to stay as such, it wouldn’t be unrealistic to expect six losses there. Then, if they’re lucky, they may be able to drop a game or two to Athens, Philadelphia, or Bayi and really make a dent in their standings – possibly being overtaken by Toronto. Their future is looking brighter by the day and their GM has a reason to smile.
Toronto Raptors (33-40)
After a disastrous season that saw them underachieve as much as any team in ABCA history has, Toronto would surely like nothing more than to improve their draft picks standing. Thankfully, their schedule will net them an almost sure-fire five losses against Indiana, Berlin, Seattle, San Antonio and San Miguel. With a roster riddled with expensive contracts and little to no results to show for it, an infusion of youth is probably the best way to improve. Downside? They are in strong consideration to earn the IT award.
Detroit Pistons (29-44)
Sigh. No comment.
Buenos Aires Boca Juniors BC (29-44)
Whatever they’re doing, it’s working! With little reason to win games, they’ve given their fans hope that an improvement towards the bottom of the standings is possible. Besides facing a few fellow tanking teams, Buenos Aires has little resistance in ensuring itself a very high pick in this loaded draft. Even the games against Detroit, Cairo, Chicago and Toronto aren’t guaranteed wins! Can you hear that? It’s the fans cheering wildly for their team to lose.
Philadelphia Sixers (28-44)
Whoever thought they did the wrong thing in trading Allan Houston is looking foolish. Sure, Houston will end up being a fine player, but Philadelphia has put themselves in prime position to net a future superstar in a mega-loaded draft class. With a stunning 19 game losing streak that took them from 28-25 to 28-44, they’ve done what people thought would have been impossible earlier in the year: gone from a potential playoff contender to the absolute worst team. That said, Philadelphia has budding stars at multiple positions and they need to add to that core.
Note: Not all teams have their (or any) 1st round picks this year. This was merely meant to be a satire article and make fun of our teams.
Bayi Rockets, Milan Olympia, Athens Panathinaikos, Beijing Aoshen, Madrid REAL, Belgrade KK Partizan, Brazil Franca BC, Indiana Pacers, Boston Celtics, Toronto Raptors, Detroit Pistons, Buenos Aires Boca Juniors BC, and Philadelphia Sixers.
What do all these teams have in common? They are all outside the playoff picture looking in. They are also all teams who are in play for the number one overall pick in the upcoming 2028 ABCA Draft. The three worst teams in the league – Cairo Zamalek, Tel Aviv Maccabi, and Chicago Bulls – sporting a combined 46-172 record have lost too many games to be considered for a top three pick. (Rule IV.XI: Anti-Tanking Policy)
With the coveted draft featuring possibly the deepest and most talented class of all-time, we’ll take a look at how teams will try to finish out the season in terms of either vying for the last spot or improving their odds of a top pick.
American Conference
Brazil Franca BC (39-34)
Franca BC finds itself in purgatory: too good to lose many games but not good enough to be a playoff team (as of today). A half game out of the 8th seed in the American conference (Harlem Globetrotters are 40-34), Franca BC would be best served trying to win games. Barring a complete catastrophe from teams like Indiana and Boston reeling off massive win streaks, the reward for losing many games would not be worthwhile. Unfortunately, they have to face the proverbial Murderer’s Row:
• Indiana (the 10th seed who is also on the borderline being just a full game out of the playoff picture at 38-34)
• Istanbul (the 8th seed in Eurasia looking to move up to the 7th seed)
• Mexico City (46-26)
• Los Angeles (47-26)
• Sydney (54-18)
• Harlem (the aforementioned 8th seed)
• Seattle (49-24)
• San Antonio (56-17)
• Istanbul (again)
In other words, they are likely to miss out on the playoffs considering Harlem has to face just three .500+ teams (Lithuania, New York, and Tehran) besides Brazil. Purgatory. Purgatory. Purgatory.
Indiana Pacers (38-34)
Indiana has been lowering their draft picks value by going from five games under .500 to four games over .500 over the past two months. In making a couple trades – one that sent future Hall of Famer Kevin McHale to Washington – they’ve managed to actually improve their team. GMs were left scratching their head at the what package the deal netted, but no one could have seen the teams improvement coming. Regardless, don’t expect Indiana to give up fighting at the end of the season, secpailly being just one game out.
Boston Celtics (35-38)
Boston is probably not going to make the playoffs. Being 4.5 games out of the playoff picture with just nine games remaining on the schedule, it would take monumental collapses from both Harlem and Brazil for them to make it in. Thus, the question becomes how to make do with what they have. With five games being against powerhouses (New York, Los Angeles, Washington, Seattle, and San Francisco) and another against the conference 8th seed clawing to stay as such, it wouldn’t be unrealistic to expect six losses there. Then, if they’re lucky, they may be able to drop a game or two to Athens, Philadelphia, or Bayi and really make a dent in their standings – possibly being overtaken by Toronto. Their future is looking brighter by the day and their GM has a reason to smile.
Toronto Raptors (33-40)
After a disastrous season that saw them underachieve as much as any team in ABCA history has, Toronto would surely like nothing more than to improve their draft picks standing. Thankfully, their schedule will net them an almost sure-fire five losses against Indiana, Berlin, Seattle, San Antonio and San Miguel. With a roster riddled with expensive contracts and little to no results to show for it, an infusion of youth is probably the best way to improve. Downside? They are in strong consideration to earn the IT award.
Detroit Pistons (29-44)
Sigh. No comment.
Buenos Aires Boca Juniors BC (29-44)
Whatever they’re doing, it’s working! With little reason to win games, they’ve given their fans hope that an improvement towards the bottom of the standings is possible. Besides facing a few fellow tanking teams, Buenos Aires has little resistance in ensuring itself a very high pick in this loaded draft. Even the games against Detroit, Cairo, Chicago and Toronto aren’t guaranteed wins! Can you hear that? It’s the fans cheering wildly for their team to lose.
Philadelphia Sixers (28-44)
Whoever thought they did the wrong thing in trading Allan Houston is looking foolish. Sure, Houston will end up being a fine player, but Philadelphia has put themselves in prime position to net a future superstar in a mega-loaded draft class. With a stunning 19 game losing streak that took them from 28-25 to 28-44, they’ve done what people thought would have been impossible earlier in the year: gone from a potential playoff contender to the absolute worst team. That said, Philadelphia has budding stars at multiple positions and they need to add to that core.
Note: Not all teams have their (or any) 1st round picks this year. This was merely meant to be a satire article and make fun of our teams.
